Mary | Ōtara
“In terms of regret, I grew up in the understanding that if you got good grades and you did what you were meant to be doing, to climb up to the ladder of success. So, I did all that. I got good marks. I went to school. I got a good job. I got my dream job as an educator and as a lecturer, but somewhere along the way I became homeless.
The unfortunate thing about that was that I had three young children with me. It would have been different if it was just me, myself and I, but I was in a situation where I had a two-year-old, a five-year-old, and a six-year-old as well, and nobody wants to be in that space, and if I relate that to a regretful situation, it would be that I wasn’t thinking clearly to be able to get the support that I needed to be able to share my situation with friends, to be able to get some help and advice when it was needed. Thankfully along the way I was able to step outside my comfort zone, because my kids needed me to, and approach members of parliament, Work and Income, and other organisations who were in a position to help me. The problem with that though is that I fell outside their criteria, so no matter what I said, or what I did, I worked and therefore I was outside their criteria. I’ve got too much income, and I found myself having to go to the media for help and support, and that’s where I got the help from, and my regret there is that I should have done it sooner, rather than later. Thank you.
One of my stories of regret is not being obedient to the ordinances and principles of the Gospel. Having been a teacher in many callings within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I’ve come to learn a lot of those ordinances and principles on a personal level, because I have so many regrets in not following them, and I guess that’s what life is all about. It’s about learning and applying those principles in real life context, and even though I talk about regret, for me, it’s made me stronger, and it’s made me a good mother, a better mother, a good listener, and a good teacher in terms of my practice, and where I work today. It’s also allowed me to be open and honest, and be able to be in a space where I can relate to others who have been down the same track in terms of experiences, and situations.
At the moment I’m an early childhood lecturer with Manukau Institute of Technology. I’ve been here for nine years. I love my job. That’s why I said, it’s my dream job. I’ve always wanted to be a lecturer, and I’m in my last year of doing my doctorate through Te Whare Wānanga o Awanuiārangi, and I’m in the last stages of completing my thesis towards that qualification, and I have no regrets about that.”
