Marianne | Pinehill
“I think this may not be relevant, but I think I have quite a few friends because I go to church, but it’s just that I miss a best friend – someone to go out with and on vacation with and stuff like that.
Being on your own it’s hard when you hear all these stories. They’ve got partners, you know? Or, they’re married, or they’re living with their partner. It’s when you’re on your own, you are the only person that you can go to, is you. Even though I have a big family, but they have their own lives. That’s about it, really.
Yesterday I went to the beach on my own, and I love to go just to walk, and you see all the families with their kids and stuff. I never had kids. Just not having that other person, or not, if things go wrong, you’re the only one who can do what needs to be done. And you go shopping and it’s you’re shopping for one, and it’s just horrible. I do reach out to people. I’m a church-goer, and I volunteer for church, and I just try and keep myself busy all the time. I love coming here, because I’ve got to know all the people who own the businesses and I’m looking for a job. I think if I had another job, I don’t know. I don’t know how to get rid of the lonely. I mean, I’m not a shy person, but just sometimes I get frustrated when it’s all on you, and you don’t have that other person, and you know, or you don’t have money; just a pension.
I actually was born in London but I grew up in America. Most of my life I lived in Chicago. I’ve been here five years, because my family live here. Family is very important, I was gone for so long, and I don’t have children, they all do, and they have their own lives, but family is very, very important.
I think mostly [I’m lonely] when you’re not well, and then you have things like, I got a ticket, $150 ticket for driving on a T2 supposedly, and just things like that, just sharing anything, just going for a walk. I can’t explain it. It’s just hard to be on your own when you don’t have a sounding board. Well, you see all these people, they’re all couples, and it’s like people go, oh you should do this, you should open this business, you should do this. I said, yeah but it’s hard when you’re just one. And you know, even though I lived on my own most my life in Chicago, I had this house, but you’re just one. People say, oh you should do this, you should do that. But it’s always coming from people who are a couple, and they’ve got two incomes and they’ve got that person, that sounding board to help, to support. I don’t have a support system. It’s just me. I have to take care of me, so I’m a bit of a tough old bird.”
