What lessons has your life journey taught you?

Marie | Kirikiriroa

Marie reflects on learning to soften as a parent, embracing past regrets, and ultimately raising children to be kind, strong, and free to be themselves.

“I guess that’s very personal, isn’t it? To your own character. In my character it’s trying not to control too much of what’s going on around me. Maybe there were times I over-disciplined my kids, and I do regret that. That’s one thing I do regret – maybe being too harsh on them at times when they were really little. They did some pretty horrendous things, but I think maybe I was too harsh on them at times. You kind of have to find that balance of discipline as a parent, don’t you?

And it doesn’t need to be so hard. You just need to be soft.

I think these mistakes that we make, that we may regret, are actually mistakes for us. Like disciplining your kids – it’s something one has to learn oneself, how to soften. And that doesn’t go away. That goes right through your life, doesn’t it? It’s so entrenched in your character.

I think about my son – how considerate and kind he is. He has a real genuine care for people around him. And I think about my daughter. She’s strong and independent and fierce – fierce in a good way, and not afraid to live her life.

Just letting them go and be independent. And I did a lot when they were children. I didn’t helicopter them. I just let them… like if we were here right now, they would probably be at the other side of the field, and I’d just let them run. Let them be free. Give them freedom. Freedom in who they are, and freedom to express themselves, and freedom to love others, and freedom not to be prejudiced or have anything hard inside them.”