What has whānau taught you?

Fete | Tāmaki Makaurau

Fete is a survivor of abuse in care and was Senior Pasefika Engagement Advisor on the Royal Commission of Enquiry into State Abuse and Faith-Based Abuse. Reconnecting with his whānau allowed him to move past the trauma of his experience.

“It’s pretty terrifying what this country did to over 200, 000 kids. You think back into the time and nobody said anything to anybody. There’s all that, you know, basically a lot of our survivors have become, aye? Become unseen, fighting their demons on their own. Yeah. But no more.

You get disconnected from your whānau for whatever reason. You end up in a place where you don’t want to be, and lots of things happen to you in that place. You grow into an adult carrying whatever it is—mamae, that trauma. You look for a sense of belonging.

In most cases, you connect back up with your whānau, but it’s a really hard road to try and talk with them about what you went through. For me, that’s where the healing came from. Your whānau are the ones that can awhi you, can talk to you, and can be there for you.

Whānau is so important to me. They’ve been very important, especially our children. When you start to have grandchildren, you look at them and think the work that I’m doing is for them—they’re the future. You want to see that they grow up healthy, safe, and in a caring environment.”