Tilly | Whangārei
“I think the last challenge I faced, the last big challenge, was probably moving to New Zealand just a few months ago, because it was just a huge thing to leave my church and my family and friends at home, and come here. It was definitely worth it. I came here because I love my husband and this is where we believe that God wants us, but it was a challenge to leave and it took awhile for me to get used to it.
I was in New Zealand for six months last year and so I did get used to a little bit then, but since being here again, just knowing that it’s forever, and because we plan to stay here, it has been a challenge to just get used to it I guess and be happy here, but I definitely am now.
I was actually born in Canada, and grew up in the United States for my whole life, and then last year I came to visit my sister who lives in New Zealand. She met a Kiwi and moved here about three years ago when she married him. I came to visit her and stay with my sister and her husband and while I was here in January I met my husband, Jared, and we met at church and then just had so much in common and so many similar interests, and we both loved the Lord most of all, so that brought us together. We got to know each other, we loved each other, and so we got engaged in May and then we got married in August. We didn’t always plan to move here. We weren’t sure if we’d live here or in the States, but we talked about it a lot and prayed about it and decided to move here. So we got married in August and moved here.
Oh, our wedding was beautiful. We had a lot of help from friends and family, and it just came together. It was like the perfect day. It was so beautiful. It was just perfect, and not many of my husband’s family and friends could come, because it’s such a big distance and we were only engaged for two months. So there wasn’t much notice, but his parents and two of his three brothers came, so that was really good to have them there, and thankfully pretty much everybody who I invited and who I was hoping would come to our wedding was able to come, and all my friends who I wanted as bridesmaids were able to be there, too.
It was a really good day, and because not many people from New Zealand were able to make it to our wedding in the States we had a wedding, like a reception, here in New Zealand just last week. So my husband’s parents helped organise that. They did a lot for us, and that was really fun too, because it was more relaxed and really fun to show everyone our wedding video and have a good time celebrating with them.
Our families were both really good about it. Our families get along really well; my husband’s and my family. So that was great. When I first met my husband in January I, I called my mum and I talked to her about him, and I was like ‘I met this guy and he’s really nice and I think I might like him’. My family knew from the beginning that I had met him, and that we were getting to know each other, and then when we started courting my husband, my boyfriend at the time, called my dad and talked to him. So that was good just for him to introduce himself, because I was still in New Zealand at the time.
When I was here last year I stayed with my sister, and Jared came down to visit me and that’s when we started courting. I went up to visit his family a few times and meet them. When I came back to the States and went back to work as a nanny, Jared came to visit my family and me so he met them and that’s when he proposed.
Thankfully, my family was supportive and they approve of and love him. So that’s good. They didn’t have a problem with us getting engaged and married so quickly because I was finished with school and I was working. I had also been in another country for a long time, so my parents didn’t have a problem because I was mature and they trusted me, and they definitely approved of Jared and trusted him as well. There were no red flags or anything so there was no reason for them not approve it.
A few weeks ago I went to a ladies retreat with a few different churches in the area in Hamilton, and that was good because it helped me get to know a few people. So I actually have some friends here now. I had a few before but I have some more friends who live closer, and it helps to have support.
It has been a challenge to just get settled here, but now that we’ve found a house that we moved into a few weeks ago, and I’ve met some more people, it has definitely helped me to overcome that challenge.
Connecting with people has been through church, because my husband and I go to an independent Baptist church up in Whangarei. All the churches go on retreats and a lot of people know each other and are related to each other, so it’s been good to just have the support of the church and the community and get to know people, meet people, make friends, and spend time with them. A church has definitely been a huge factor in getting settled in here.
I guess to make friends… well, when I was younger I was really shy, so I was not very good at making friends, but when I came to New Zealand last year I had to learn to be more outgoing, because I was away from my family. The only person I knew here at that time was my sister and her husband and his family. I guess to make friends it’s easier when you have common ground and just be friendly. If you want to make a friend you have to be a friend. So just treat people like you’re wanting them to treat you. Instead of trying to think what can I get and how can I get a friend, I just tried to think of how can I be a friend to this person, because friendship’s not just about getting; it’s about your relationship and thinking about the other person as well.
My family is Christian so I grew up in a Christian home which was really good. I really appreciate that, but I think for each person it’s also important that your faith is not just your family’s faith or your parent’s faith but it’s something that you truly believe in as a well. It has to be your beliefs, and I think a big point in my life when I really made it my own, I guess, was a few years ago when I went on a trip to Columbia with my grandparents. They know some missionaries down in Columbia, South America. And so I went with them on that trip just to see the people there, and to see how much they love God, even though they had so little possessions and we visited some Indian people from a refugee place who had been displaced by a volcano.
Just to see the joy that they had even though they had so little was inspiring and it helped me to see that there are people all over the world with not many possessions who were still able to have the Joy of the Lord, because He is sufficient for them. I was saved when I was four years old, but going to Columbia helped, just helped me to kick-start me growing in my faith somewhere, and helped me to learn more about God, read my Bible more, and I definitely learned and grew a lot over the next few years. I got to go on another missions trip to Malawi in 2014 when I was 16, and so that was another experience where I just did some work for the Lord.
I was with a team who were drilling a well in Malawi, so we got some training in for it beforehand, and then we went onto Malawi, which is in South East Africa, to drill a well and share the Gospel with the people there. When I was at community college a few years ago, I got a chance to share my faith a few times there and just learn how to stand up for faith when not everyone around believed the same thing. My cousins were visiting one year and they came to stay with us for about a week, and they went to an independent Baptist church in the area, and I started going. I went there with them to visit. My family has their own churches they were going to, but I really liked it and I got involved. I was involved with both churches for awhile, and just getting to know the people there, as well as in my family’s church. I learned a lot from them, and just grew a lot.”
