Simon | Mt Roskill, Auckland

“My regret story is the way I lived my life before I stopped using alcohol and drugs. My biggest regret is the way I treated my family, and the way I treated my mother. I lost her a few years ago while I was still using, and my biggest regret is not being able to show her that love and respect that she deserved.

So I stopped using and I turned to studying social practice because the help I got really spoke to me and I wanted to do something positive with my life. It’s a way of giving back and it’s a way of honouring my mother. 

I grew up in Tokoroa. Big old timber mill town. I left home when I was 13. Thought I knew it all at 13 and spent quite a transient life throughout New Zealand and got involved in situations that I probably regret getting involved in now, but it shaped who I am today. I have four sisters and one brother and we all live over different parts of New Zealand and Australia and I’ve been living in Auckland since 1996.

I think for the biggest turning point was actually losing my mother, and also that year I ended up in hospital a couple of times ODing, and there was a lot of regret there, but it was like, what can I do to honour my mother, and that’s what stopped me. I wanted to make her proud and I didn’t want to live the life I was living. It was horrible and there was a lot of pain and suffering in that life. It’s such a huge regret to have Mum die all of a sudden, shed those horrible attributes of myself, and not be able to share that with her, but deep down, I also think that she’s watching and I take comfort from that. It’s really sad that was my turning point in my life, but at the same time, I’m really happy that I’ve done what I’m doing.

I took myself out of my old job. I used to be a draughtsman, and with the help that I got to sort my head out I decided I’m going to go back to do a bachelors of social practice because it’s more, for me. I’ve discovered that I really quite like people, and there’s a lot of inequality and there’s a lot of struggles out there and I resonate with that. So, I really want to try and give back, and it’s all about giving back and just trying to be a better person.”