Simon | Parnell
“I was adopted since the age of two, and one of the reasons is my mum obviously couldn’t handle having me, so she gave up and had to adopt me into a family.
Fortunately, I’ve actually been with a family that have been successful and done a whole lot for me, and I wouldn’t be where I was without my Mum and Dad. My Dad is a multi-millionaire. My Mum and Dad are both remarried. The biggest issue for me is alcohol. Now, that’s a sad thing, and I’ve got all the counsellors in the world to help me, but it’s all down to me. My parents have all the love in the world for me, but it’s all about alcohol. If you look at Auckland City from Friday, Saturday, it’s all alcohol. The thing is me that’s wrong, it’s not Mum and Dad. Dad lives in the Waikato. Mum lives in Katikati. They’re lovey people, but it’s just the alcohol thing that I struggle with.
I was really unconfident growing up and when I hit the age of 18, I managed to get hold of some money and went to pick up booze, and ever since then I just drank, and that’s what happened. However, my biological parents are alcoholics and my mum was a prostitute. So I don’t blame her. They don’t want to know me. That’s fine, because they gave me a better life and I always wonder who my mum is. You know? I always wonder who my real mum is, but she declines to see me, it’s sad, but she gave me a better life than what I would have had. I’ve had several attempts, but the problem is they don’t seem want to know me. So, at the same time you have to look at the other side of things, which is that I’ve got a better life. I might still be drinking, but I wouldn’t be alive now. You know?
Being in Housing New Zealand you’ve got different personalities around you, and problems come all the time, as usual. The way that I would suggest you solve problems is take it easy and just try your best to approach the person calmly, and see what they say. Either they’re going to flip-out or they’re going to talk to you; just try and be nice. Even if you’ve made the mistake, you can apologise for what you’ve done. I mean, my mistakes have been endless, but I can’t vouch for everybody.
The point that I would say with that is when I first picked up a drink, it was kind of like the first couple went down well. When it got to the third one, it felt good. I was unconfident, as I said to you. It bought me all the confidence in the world. I’m 40 now and I wish I had never drunk. After 22 years of drinking, looking back on the bad situations that have happened to my parents, my parents won’t even let my sister go near me, because between the two of us it’s a double nuclear disaster.
We both drink. It’s like hell is going to pay. What I would say is my adoptive parents are saying that because my mum and dad were heavy alcoholics, then you develop what’s called the alcoholic syndrome, and that is when the minute you pick up a drink you don’t look back. I’ve always been like that, but I can’t blame my parents for what’s happened. My parents have been great, but I can’t blame them.
The Auckland City Mission, number one out of all the places that have helped me, and they’ve helped me grow routines; Community Alcohol and Drug Services; I graduated Odyssey House. I was there two years, four months, graduated that. There are amazing resources, but what I just feel is that resources are so stretched, you know. There’s more and more people coming.
I mean, DHB; they cut Community Alcohol and Drug off three years ago. I mean, I’ve never done synthetic cannabis, but what I do know with synthetic cannabis is that people are dying off that stuff.
I just want to see my mum, and maybe I never will, but it’s just something that I just want to do. I would just like to see you, just see your face. You know? That’s all I want, because I’m going to die and I’ll die not knowing who my mum is, my real mum. Hey it upsets me, but I understand why she did it, what the benefit of it was, but really I’m just, I don’t know. I’ve got a great mum. You wouldn’t believe, so lovely, so nice and I’m so gifted to be adopted, but I just want to see my mother’s eyes. You know? And my dad, because I’ve never seen them both, and I mean this thing was a one-night stand that went wrong, and I’ve got a half brother and that, but I’ve never met them and they don’t seem to want to know me, but if there’s one thing, it’s just a picture, just so I can see. My adoptive mum, when she adopted me, said your mum is so beautiful. She was so brave when I was adopted at the age of one and a half, but just to see her. You know? And I can’t, I don’t know why she doesn’t want to know me, but I’ve got no aggro against her or anything. I would just like to see what she looks like but I don’t think that’s going to happen in my lifetime, but I have to be grateful for what she did for me.”
