Louise | Motueka, Tasman

“I had one yesterday. I went to go and get my knee x-rayed, and the radiographer was running the whole of the radiology department herself, because a bunch of admin staff had been laid off because of Covid.

I asked her how she was doing because she was taking all of the appointments and she was then taking us in and having the x-rays and then she was printing out the invoices afterwards. I said, how are you, have you had a break or a cup of tea. And, she said, no I haven’t even managed to have a drink all day, I haven’t had any water. She just took the moment to really let me know how it was for her instead of just brushing it away. I really felt like there was such a change to how it was before we had the lockdown and the Covid. There was just an openness of being able to say, actually. I could see that things were hard for her, and she was able to recognise that.

Then I had another similar situation with a friend recently. We were talking about how we really were, and we were both just able to say that on the outside, everything can appear so well and normal, and yet actually when we spent a little bit of time with each other just sitting and talking, we were able to really reveal. We have moments where we often feel, well a moment of madness or of doubting ourselves, or not feeling very stable, feeling like perhaps that’s not allowed. Perhaps it’s not okay to be able to really reveal that to each other and to the world, but that’s human life. We have these ups and we have these downs, and the whole shaboodle is okay. To be able to have permission for all of that, to show up and to share all of that, without feeling like we were somehow less of a person because we could experience the whole range of that. Since we’ve had Covid and Lockdown together there’s much more ability and willingness to be able to really open up to our true experiences without so much shame and embarrassment.

Over lockdown I learned that the life that I had been leading was not sustainable, and was actually not very kind. I learned a lot about how our society I think has prioritised a life that doesn’t support us individually or collectively. I learned a lot about the importance of simplicity and caring for other people, and looking out for other people and looking out for myself, actually um. I just re-prioritised a whole bunch of things for me in my life and other people’s lives, I’m hoping we’re not all going to let go of them when we return back to our normal lives.

I’m from England originally and I’ve lived in Aotearoa for 18 years. I came just with a backpack, and for a year of travelling and I never went back. This is my Tūrangawaewae here. I really feel like this is my place to stand. As a job, I’ve worked in family violence, and child protection for many years, and I’m doing well currently, I’m supporting my own wellbeing, and I’m not working at the moment. Just catching up with myself and catching up with life, and doing a bit of that re-prioritising stuff.”