Ellie | Sandringham, Auckland

“So we recently all opened up more, my family about things that we lived in the past together and how we felt about each other in several situations. Just what each other felt in the past, and how it got us to where we are now, in our relationships and some issues we’ve had and how we dealt with them and everything.

So, that’s a conversation we all had. Not only once, but several times, and that was really good. 

It was several things, because I had some struggles at school, so that kind of impacted a lot, and I’m the oldest child, so it was kind of difficult for my younger brother and sister, to live with me not being okay for a while. It also impacted my family, because I was not feeling well. I was not really nice all the time, and I was really grumpy and that kind of thing. So, we had a conversation about how they’re impacted, how other things could have impacted us. I was bullied at school, and because I’m kind of an anxious person, and quite sensitive it had a really huge impact on me, and my parents. They thought it was not something that big, and I wasn’t really able to express how I was feeling, so they kind of just said, ‘oh that’s alright, you’re going to be okay anyway, just don’t listen’, and they didn’t know how to deal with it. So, it kind of had an impact even later on. These things are never very easy, but because I had that on top of it, it was even more difficult. So, it had a huge impact on my family and even with my relationship with my brother and sister. We are kind of sorting everything out now that I’m with them in the same country, because we were separated for a while. It just felt really good, because I used to be uncomfortable with my parents and my family in general, but I left for a year. I left France to go to Australia, and they were in New Zealand. So, I was alone and separated from them. I guess taking that distance from them was really helping, because it helped us be closer to each other. Having that conversation just helps us fix all the issues we have. Now I’m closer with my brother, my sister and my parents, which is something that wasn’t the case before.

I think it has taught me that you don’t need to yell at each other to just say what you’re feeling, because it’s something that can happen when you have things on your mind and you don’t know how to express them when you’re angry and everything. But we sat down and just said how we felt and just learned how to take into consideration how the other feels. Maybe there is a situation that we all lived together but we didn’t live it the same way. So, we just all learned how to listen to each other’s feelings, and that even living the exact same situation we can have different feelings about it.

I grew up in the Paris suburb, in France, until I was 18. Then, I left for Australia. I studied for a year there, and then after that, because of the level of the university, I wasn’t feeling so well learning in Australia because I was quite young. I was only 18, and I had never been to Australia. So, it was kind of difficult being very young, and there alone. So I decided to go back to France, and the level of studies wasn’t really better. So, I decided to go back and then my parents were like, ‘oh you’re going to be really far away for a few years, why don’t you come to New Zealand just to be with us and experience it, maybe you want to live there, later on.’ So, I decided to come here for the six months I had remaining before the beginning of my course in France, and I’m enjoying it so far. I like New Zealand. People in general in New Zealand, they feel really genuinely kind.”