Allan | Palmerston North, Manawatū

“I’m a divorcee, and my daughter lives over in Fielding, and I guess I was kind of put on the black-list for some reason, she decided that she didn’t want to have any contact with me in the future and I only heard about this from my sister who lives here in Palmerston.

So I took myself down to my father’s house, and I tried to explain to him just how hurtful I found the whole thing. No explanation. Nothing, and he couldn’t understand my attitude, and I think eventually I sort of got through, because at my age I’m coming up 59, and if that’s the way she wants to go, then fine. You can’t do anything about it, so you just have to live with it, but my father just simply couldn’t understand my attitude, but on the bright side, since that originally occurred, she’s completely changed her mind and is welcoming contact again.

We’re not all bound up in social media, and all the technological hype. I think there’s been a very distinct loss of executive function, which is all about, family and how it’s kind of disappeared into a single person in front of a computer in a single room where once upon a time, way back in history, the whole family used to read books, all in a gathering, have all their meals together, and everything else. That’s pretty well gone, now which I think is a real big shame. So, having a heart-to-hearts is incredibly important.

I learned that under certain circumstances, difficulty can become very hurtful, but at the same time, you can have a really positive attitude, but you’re stuck with both things at the same time. It’s very hard to be resilient when you’re not really feeling very good about yourself at the same time, but we muddle through. Shoulders back. We’ll get there. 

I value security, independence, and security includes a lot of things. Friends, family. Particularly family. That’s about it on the personal side. I’ve been a travelling sales-type person for over 30 years. I’ve been a journalist. Currently I’m trying really hard to write novels. I’ve got an aspiration to get published, and become possibly the next James Patterson, or Steven King. Rolling in it into retirement, and that’s about it.”