Sophia | Panguru, Northland

“I have a lot of heart-to-hearts with people, because I’m a very good listener but the most recent time was with a friend of mine who had been struggling with his sexual identity. Him and I worked together for about two years, and him working with me, you just give people the space to be who they are and in that time, in the two years, it helped him flourish.

Working together, just pushing him to be what he could be. Him and I spoke at my farewell, and he said to me, ‘Sister’, because we created this relationship where we were sisters, some days she’s Sister, and some days, she’s just Tai. So, this beautiful person had a heart-to-heart with me, and just thanked me for allowing her to be who she could be, and not compress her because she is very out there. She is very out there, but in the way that some people might not agree with it, but that’s okay. She is who she is and so we sat down, and she was talking to me, and she was like, ‘Sister, I don’t think I would have lasted as long as I did working at our place of work if you weren’t there’. It was very emotional, because she’s faced a lot of challenging times with her sexuality, and it was more cry than words, you know those heart-to-hearts. But I just knew what she was trying to say. You could feel it. 

I think it’s important to have that person to talk to, or have that support around you, because there’s no use trying to bottle up all the emotion, whatever you’re going through, and have it to yourself, because it just eats away at you. I suppose having a person to talk to, even recently for myself, I went home, back to Kaitāia, to my whānau, and I had just experienced something that wasn’t directed at me, but I felt like I needed whānau time. That for me, is just that person to talk to with, whether it be my sister, whether it be my aunty. I know that if the person that I just spoke about didn’t have the support that she currently has now, I don’t think she would have made it through everything. It would have been just too much for someone to take on by themselves. In saying that, sometimes when you have those conversations with someone, or you have that one person to talk to, you could cry, and it’s okay, because that person that you’re talking to loves you for who you are, and I think that having that person there, or having those people there is very important. It’s just like I don’t want to deal with life by myself, and nor does anyone else.

I was born and raised in Panguru in North Hokianga, and I grew up with my grandparents. So, I was very fortunate to have a kaumātua/kuia upbringing. So when I was hitting primary school age, I had friends who were already 15, because that was the age-group that I grew up around and I loved it. I suppose that has given me a different lens on life, that different upbringing. But then I also moved to live in Whangārei with my parents, and that was a different āhuatanga as well, different life, but very grateful for both upbringings. Excuse me. I studied for a bit at university as a teacher. I also did management in fast food. So, now that we’re back to normal, it’s interesting to see what life is like, the new norms. But that’s me, I work a lot with Rangatahi Māori in Taitokerau with Taiao, with environmental kaupapa, with Te Rarawa, and helping with Ngāpuhi as well. A lot of my values reflect my whānau upbringing. A lot of that is loving my whānau and having them next to me, and growing together, but also the different experiences within different organisations has also sculpted me into who I am today.”